Tao de Haas posted on September 14, 2011 17:25
Well, yes and no.
The experience of feeling happy is definitely not a myth; it is without doubt a very pleasant experience. The problem is that over the last decade or so many people have come to believe that you should be happy all of the time, and if you are not, then there must be something wrong with you.
The idea that somehow happiness should be a default position is definitely a myth, in other words that you should be happy all of the time. This belief is problematic and misleading; it leads to an almost obsessive and constant concern with being and pursuing happiness. Trying to achieve personal happiness is a fairly recent phenomenon. It was not all that long ago that people’s primary concern wasn’t so much personal happiness. Being able to look after your family, being a valued member of your family and community was far more important than personal happiness. This is still very much the case in cultures other than our Western society.
Now let’s be clear, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be happy. The problem lies when we believe the ‘experts’ who tell us that happiness is our birth right and that if we are not happy, then there must be something wrong with us. These ‘experts’ exploit the happiness myth. They want you to believe that there is a secret '7 Steps to Happiness' formula, which of course they will happily sell to you...the happiness myth is actually good for business.
The media also has a lot to answer for in continuing to perpetuate the happiness myth. Think for a moment about how happiness is portrayed in the advertising world. We are bombarded with messages trying to convince us that 'x' or 'y' product will bring us happiness and if we had 'z' product, all would be well in our world. Is that what life is all about? Is that how life can be all of the time? Really?
Expecting to be happy all the time only fuels the level of discontent in ourselves and society as a whole...it's unrealistic and unsustainable. Happiness is not something that can be bought or pursued. Happiness is the result of something; it's a by-product. In this respect many people put the cart before the horse. ‘If only’ I had this or that, ‘if only’ I was this or that, then I would be happy. The ‘if only’ is the cart.
Ultimately happiness is a mindset; it is the result of satisfying your core needs and values and living your life in a way that is purposeful and meaningful to you.
Our short audio story The Happy Man's Shirt illustrates this beautifully...enjoy!