If you have been reading our last couple of blogs I trust that you have reflected on what happiness means to you. We’ve talked about why pursuing happiness can be a real trap and may actually lead to being unhappy. You may now have a much better idea of what makes you happy (apart from chasing and accumulating more stuff in your life).
The world is not black and white
It would be too easy to be seduced into thinking that happiness is just a state of mind and that you can be perfectly happy without any stuff in your life. Now let’s get real, the world is not black or white. Most of us are not training to become monks and are not about to make a vow renouncing all worldly possessions. Ultimately we need to keep things balanced. Of course there are things that are valuable to you. Most of us have some possessions that might not be of great monetary value but we greatly value these items in other ways. While these material possessions might not make us happy in the long term, they can add somewhat to life’s enjoyment along the way.
Driven by discontent
However, for many people focusing on accumulating external stuff is a substitute to compensate for inner discontent. Studies have found that we humans derive the most satisfaction from core areas in our life, i.e. our health, what we do for a living and the relationships we have. Unfortunately many people don’t make these areas a priority.
I’m not happy and that’s okay
Many people have a very unrealistic view and expectation of life. Being human means experiencing our full range of human emotions. Just think about it, who would you have to be to be happy all of the time? Part of the happiness myth is the mistaken belief that it is not okay to be unhappy. That somehow you have to put on your happiness mask even when you are unhappy at times. Remember that all emotions are valid and suppressing certain emotions in an attempt to be ‘happy’ all the time is not only unrealistic but very unhealthy for your emotional and psychological wellbeing. Just the same as if you would be unhappy all of the time. Any functional human being experiences a range of emotions just like there are seasons. How would you know moments and times when you felt happy and satisfied if you have never been unhappy or sad? How would you know it is spring if there was never a winter?
You are the one you are looking for!
Happiness is not about short term pleasures or being happy as a default position. Those who have a deeper understanding of life appreciate that life is more complex and richer than worrying about just feeling happy all the time. If you want to feel more content and satisfied discover your inner wealth and evolve your potential.
The more your focus on the external stuff that you think will make you happy, the less you focus on being the most you can be. Humans have an enormous amount of potential, talent and creativity. It is really sad to think we are capable of so much yet most people leave that inner wealth untapped.
Do you want to be happier? Then get out of your own way!
Most people focus on what they haven’t got and what they can’t do. They well and truly stand in their own way. Many experience feelings of not being good enough, of needing to be more, have more, or even to be more like someone else. Many people dismiss their own unique talents as being commonplace, not special, and don’t realize how valuable these attributes might be.
Many people turn their back on themselves and the richness of their inner wealth, and play small. They put themselves down, criticize themselves and feel they are never good enough. Is it any wonder people try to find happiness externally to elevate the pain they inflict upon themselves?
Keep it real
Honor all of your emotions and accept that external stuff will never fill the void created by your own inner discontent; what you do and don’t do as well as what you have and don’t have. Stop searching for riches outside yourself and instead discover your own inner treasures.
Consider
1. What do you treasure most in your life and why?
2. If you had a latent talent, skill or attribute, what would it be?
3. How would you imagine your life could change if you developed your talents, skills or attributes?
Take the road less travelled
Self-discovery is the road less travelled and it is where love, happiness and meaning reside.
At Minds with Integrity we have developed an easy, practical and step by step approach to help you discover your inner treasures. It's just like having your own mentor or life coach to guide and support you every step of the way. Take this important and necessary first step. It might be the most important and empowering decision you will ever make.
Don’t be like most people and wait until you are lost, desperate and in despair about your life and where you are heading. Take this opportunity to expand your awareness and to develop clarity, focus and meaningful direction in your life.
A most exciting and transformational journey awaits you. It's the journey of self-discovery; where love, happiness and meaning reside.