Motivation myths...setting the record straight - Part 2

Fact: When the going gets tough there may be times when you need to put your shoulder to the grindstone. But if your journey is only driven by will power, you are likely to tire and it’s unlikely that you will succeed. If you are clear about why you want to reach your destination, together with a real desire to get there, you will use your inspiration rather than relying on will power alone. Strong desire and emotionally connecting to the excitement of reaching your destination is far more powerful than using sheer will power. Without engaging your emotions and feelings (the subconscious and the limbic part of your brain), you have to work much harder. Inspiration is more powerful than perspiration.

 

 

Fact: “The old Gods will always come and challenge you at the border of the country that you are leaving”. You want to change something and move away from a current situation, in order to achieve a goal. For most people there comes a stage which is called the point of greatest resistance. It is often when you least expect it. All of a sudden something pulls you back and stops you from moving forward. This is often just before you are about to succeed. Why? Just like being tied to an elastic band, the further you move away the stronger the pullback. The point of greatest resistance occurs just before the elastic band breaks and you hurdle forward.

 

In psychology this is called a ‘pay off’ or a ‘hidden benefit’. At some point the ‘pay’ off, the ’benefit’ of not ‘travelling’ any further motivates you more than the destination. Well engrained habits have a lot of pullback power. That part of you that is attached to the old habits will pull you back (especially after 3-4 weeks and then again at a later stage) as it does not want to lose those ‘benefits’. When you want to move to a new way; a new world or a new country so to speak, the old habits will often try to call you back. This is one of the most important aspects to understand in the motivation process, yet it is often not addressed in popular motivation information. Why would that part of you that just wants to ‘stay home’ and blob in front of the TV get excited and co-operate with another part of you that wants to actively pursue your goals? You need to negotiate with these various and often conflicting aspects within yourself so they come on board. Once you understand and effectively address the pullback factor, you are far more likely to succeed.

 

 

Fact: Believe it or not you are always motivated. Is a teenager lazy for not wanting to tidy up his or her room? NO! Their motivation just lies elsewhere. They might be motivated to go out with their friends, play video games or sleep. They value these things much more than tidying up their room. There is always motivation, although sometimes the motivation ‘movement’ might not necessarily go in a direction that is constructive or useful. So next time you think you are ‘lazy’ replace that thought with, I am not motivated. Labelling yourself or others as ‘lazy’ is very unhelpful. Labelling someone or something means that it is a fait accompli (an irreversible fact). There is nothing much that you can do about it. Exploring what does and what does not motivate you is the key to addressing motivation.

 

 

Fact: A real indication of lack of motivation is when we use the word ‘try’. ‘I will try’ means I am not really committed but I feel I ‘should’ be. Rather than choosing to do something because we really want to, we give it a try. Have you ever met someone that has been trying to give up smoking? Answer one question: Do they or don’t they smoke? The answer is they are still smoking. If they weren’t they would not be trying to give it up, they would have done it. How well do you think it works when you feel you 'should’ give up smoking, 'should' lose weight, 'should' drink less or 'should' exercise more, when you don’t really want to?

 

The problem is with the implication of the word trying. Trying means it is not happening because there is not a firm decision or commitment made. I know people that have made a very clear, firm and conscious decision to smoke, despite knowing the dangers. While it is not a choice that I would make, I respect their decision. Why? They stopped the struggle.

 

Make up your mind, consider the cost-benefits and make a decision. The space between doing and not doing is called ambivalence. Continuously dancing ‘the ambivalence dance’ is very tiring, disempowering and ultimately does not get you anywhere. Stop trying; just do it or don’t! Ultimately it is that easy.

 

 

Fact: You need to keep on track to reach your destination, but if you haven’t got a map, then what track are you on? Without a strategy it is far too easy to stray from your intended destination, your intended goal. If you haven’t got a good map or navigation system you might find that all of a sudden you have come back to the place you started from. You can have all the motivation in the world, but if you leave home without knowing where you are going or how far you have travelled, you're going to feel lost and discouraged and more than likely, you will give up.

 

Having a system that keeps you focused and on the right track is extremely important, especially during times when your motivation is low. Having a clear vision of your destination, knowing where you’re at and keeping track of your travels and progress is one of the most essential aspects as it encourages you and leads you to act. This is such an important and fundamental element of achieving what you want to achieve, yet it's probably one of the most neglected. There is so much information about motivation yet often the most important aspects are absent. Many people, books and products can inspire you and get you on your way, but that is the easy part. After that you are left to your own devices and this is why most people don’t stay the course or reach their intended destination.

 

Determining where you want to go and understanding the all-important why factor as well as having access to practical tools, resources and support to help get you there (from start to finish) is what people really need to succeed. It is with this in mind that we have developed The Life Navigation System. Experience the system first-hand and sign-up for your free trial.

 

 

The Life Navigation System is a personalized and practical DIY coaching system that puts you in the driver’s seat and more in control of your life and where you are heading. Achieve your goals the easy way with a powerful system that gets results.